Beached Whale

I seem to be missing a little thing called the "whoosh". Coming off a somewhat disappointing swim on sunday, Brad kept close track of my swimming today and well, it turns out I just am not that aerodynamic...or hydrodynamic....It's kinda like pushing a fire hydrant thru the water -- speed is not exactly the result.

My main issue is breathing. I know...small detail. But seriously, though I've learned to breathe in a systematic way every 3 strokes, both to the left AND right, it is a huge gasping desperate attempt for air every single time. Sometimes there's a wheezing noise that accompanies it. Occasionally, I drink a fair amount of water...and whether it has chlorine or salt as the primary ingredient, they both suck.

Turns out I'm a flat swimmer, or at least I just coined that term. I tend not to rotate and because of this, I'm lacking graceful, smooth long strokes, turning to the left and right with ease to get my face fully out of the water to take in oxygen. I lack the "whoosh".

So today Brad kept telling me to keep it smooth, to lengthen, to turn and keep my reaching arm out instead of windmilling desperately to make it to the other side of the pool. Finally at the end of the workout, I was told that I have to now start every practice with 400 meters of 1-arms/regular stroke...not my idea of fun. But I must be broken of my bad habits.

Now to add insult to injury, Brad had me get up on the deck. I asked "are you about to publicly humiliate me?" He said "no". But then he had me lay on my stomach on the deck and practice rolling on each side one at a time, practicing my stroke. Yeah, there's nothing quite like being ass up in broad daylight. Not that i don't LOVE my ass (dripping sarcasm), but I am kinda that person that yells 'HEY LOOK, IT'S ELVIS!' and when everyone turns to look, I rip off my clothes and cannonball into the pool. So I wasn't thrilled, but i picked up what Brad was putting down. And I realize that the bad form is only holding me back.

I think I might start a new olympic sport. Power deck swimming. Ass up.